Jul
2nd
Wed
2nd
Well this is awkward.
random thoughts and entertaining tidbits stuffed into a tumblelog by Jesse Walker
Jun
29th
Sun
29th
Capitalization: The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse or helping your uncle jack off a horse.
— Roningai
Jun
25th
Wed
25th
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Lit 101 Class in Three Lines or Less.
Paradise Lost
ADAM: Paradise has arbitrary dietary restrictions?
DEVIL: They’re really more like guidelines.
GOD: Incorrect.
Jun
23rd
Mon
23rd
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.
— George Carlin
Jun
19th
Thu
19th
Before we take off, I would like to apologize on behalf of this and every airline for the hassle you just endured at the security checkpoint. As is patently obvious to any reasonable person, the humiliating shoe removals, liquids ban, and pointy-object confiscations do little to make us safer.
Jun
17th
Tue
17th
Jun
14th
Sat
14th
Jun
12th
Thu
12th
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
— Napoleon Bonaparte
Jun
11th
Wed
11th