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random thoughts and entertaining tidbits stuffed into a tumblelog by Jesse Walker


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Jul
2nd
Wed
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Well this is awkward.
Well this is awkward.
Jun
29th
Sun
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Capitalization: The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse or helping your uncle jack off a horse.
— Roningai
Jun
25th
Wed
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Jun
23rd
Mon
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.
George Carlin
Jun
19th
Thu
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Before we take off, I would like to apologize on behalf of this and every airline for the hassle you just endured at the security checkpoint. As is patently obvious to any reasonable person, the humiliating shoe removals, liquids ban, and pointy-object confiscations do little to make us safer.
Jun
17th
Tue
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Jun
14th
Sat
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Jun
12th
Thu
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
— Napoleon Bonaparte
Jun
11th
Wed
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